"Those who are given to little white lies soon become color blind." - Anonymous
"Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only for a moment" - Proverbs 12:19
Once there was a mother who asked her young daughter, "Do you know what happens to little girls who tell lies?" To which the young daughter replied, "Of course I do. They grow up and tell little girls they'll get curly hair if they eat their spinach."
Is the mom in the above story guilty? Does it really make a difference if no one is being harmed? Or does the harm being done seem as little to others as it does to us? Is harm being done to the relationship even if the particular circumstance causes no pain? Does the degree of the lie make any difference to the integrity of the person telling it?
Here is the question for the week - Is there really any difference between a "little white lie" and a big fat lie?
Here are a few Scriptures to help you determine your answers and responses, feel free to quote your own as well. You'll get my response on Sunday, January 10th. Enjoy!
Judges 16:4-21
Acts 5:1-11
Colossians 3:9
James 3:1-12
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I am excited about this new, to me, method of having a Bible study. Hope I can figure it out.I have just finished reading all the verses. Samson lied for no reason--just messing with D's head. It is definately wrong to lie for the sake of lying or to lie witht he intent of harm to someone. However, I think there are times when lying is not only not wrong, but the right choice, such as to prevent some harm or worse sin from occuring or to ease someone's mind. And what about Santa Claus and Easter Bunny?
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid the cited scriptures did not provide much insight for me in answering this question. However, I know the US military academies have a strict Honor Code which basically says "We will not lie, cheat, or steal, nor tolerate anyone who does." But in certain cases there is an exception, defined as "tact". It is permissible (and sometimes even encouraged) to utter small, inconsequential, non-harmful untruths (or half-truths) to further diplomacy or prevent hurting someone's feelings. For example, you may tell the French ambassador's wife her ball gown is "breathtaking" when you really think it is hideous, without violating the Honor Code. This is simply being tactful or kind. And does not the Bible also say "be kind to one another (or love one another)"? Thus I would agree with the first comment, that sometimes a small, harmless, inconsequential lie may be preferable to the whole truth. But we must be very cautious in choosing those situations.
ReplyDeleteI have a comment. There are times when the truth is SO hurtful that either lie or try to be silent. God knows what is in our hearts and understands if there is a need to 'fib'. An example : when my husband was so very ill, a pastor told me, " You shouldn't have hope. Just accept death."
ReplyDeleteThe only way I could keep going was to have hope and the pastor took that last glimmer of hope from me.
In Judges, Samon eventually told the truth and the results were, well, disastrous. Ananias, in Acts, paid the ultimate price of death for his less than truthful dealings. The remaining two scriptures advise us to be honest and truthful.
ReplyDeleteBeing truthful appears to bring mixed results. I don't consider either Samson's or Anaisias's situations to be "little white lies" - they were big stuff scenarios.
I come to the point of wondering just what does constitute a "little white lie", where the line of demarcation falls between the "little" and "fat" lies. Result? Is there ever a time when not telling or telling less than the truth is acceptable?
Samson might have been able to be truthful if he had considered a different approach that would have been honest without giving specifics. Somehow his situation dealt with giving away information about a source of power than was rightfully his. Ananias took what was not his to begin with. Now we are dealing with case specifics and motives ......... seems that doing no harm needs to be a consideration?
I heard a story about a family in Germany during World War II who were hiding a Jewish family in a secret compartment below their house. The German police showed up and asked point blank if they were hiding Jews. They responded with a "big fat lie." I believe they were completely and utterly right in doing so.
ReplyDeleteI believe the question isn't "is there a difference in the lies we tell" but "how do our words/actions help or hurt other people?" God is pleased when we love those around us.
Perhaps the remainder of chapter 3 in the book of James gives us some helpful advice. It speaks about a wisdom that comes from above and does not seek selfish motives. When we are interacting with others our litmus test seems to be asking "am I using wisdom from above?" Wisdom from above is pure, peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits..." (James 3:17)
There are people is my life I would rather not spend time with and telling them would be the more honest thing to do, but would it be the kind thing or the right thing? The two greatest commandments are to love God and love one another. Telling someone to get lost is not loving.
ReplyDeletePeople who think they have all the answers and always know what is right and what is wrong scare me. I'd much rather be around seekers, like the commenters here seem to be, who are trying to do the right thing but aren't afraid to admit that they don't always know what that might be.
I want to thank Damon for providing this opportunity for Bible study. The past couple of years I have wanted to get into Bible study, and a program where I can pick my time is extremely desirable.
ReplyDeleteIn the area of engaging in 'little white lies', I have a big gap between daily events at work, versus my personal life at home, church, and organizations. And is not saying anything as bad as verbally lying? Or telling 'partial truths' by omitting other information? For me, 'partial truths' at work seem to be the norm, or supervisors lying where I say nothing contradictory. This has gone on for so many years I am somewhat immune to any afterthoughts. Personal life is very different - I have very few uncomfortable situations so the 'little white lies' are few a far between (I think). And I believe most of these are to not belittle or bash the other person.
In closing, I like these responses better than general internet blogs - where bloggers argue with each other and stray severely form the topic or article.
There is no difference between a little white lie and a big fat lie - both
ReplyDeleteare deceptions.
Said differently, is it a deception to "spin" comments to avoid an embarrassing situation or deceptive to say nothing at all when you know the person is expecting acknowledgement or a compliment?
What are the scriptures telling us about little white lies or big fat lies?
Acts 5:1-11 is a story about a conspiracy to give the appearance that Ananias and Sapphira were good Christians. They wanted the glory of giving “all” the proceeds of the sale of their property when in fact they gave only part. The sin here was not lying to man, but lying to God.
How many times do we find ourselves pretending we are someone we are not?
In Judges 16: 4-21, Samson deceived himself to believe he was the source of his strength rather than believe his strength was from the Holy Spirit. He forgot the source of the spiritual strength and failed to glorify it. How many times do we find ourselves thinking we are “lost” when all along God’s footprints are right beside us?
James 3: 1-12 reminds me of the saying of the saying, “If you have nothing good to say, don’t say anything at all”
Colossians straight out says, not to lie because lying keeps us from reaching perfection.
For me, white lies, big fat lies or deceptions are about whether we are denying Christ’s opportunity to enter our heart and soul.
We think we are be deceptive to others when in fact we are denying ourselves the opportunity to seek perfection
First of all let me thank everyone for participating in this new study. I was not really sure how well this would be received, but I am very pleased with the results of our first try. Please tell your friends about the site if you would please.
ReplyDeleteRegarding the topic of lying, I don't believe there are any Scriptures that ever invoke lying or deception as a part of God's plan for His followers. So little or big, lying is lying. With that said the respondent who made the comment about the danger of telling the ambassador's wife that her gwon was hideous brings up a Biblical point about kindness and propriety, which is not to be confused with political correctness. The moral problem at the center of lying has to do with gain for the liar at the expense of someone else. But in the case of the wife's dress (or Santa Claus) holding back the truth is for the benefit of someone else, that is, to avoid causing them pain. Scripture tells us also not to place stumbling blocks in the path of people and sometimes telling the truth would be unnecessarily inflicting pain.
Bottom line - yes all lies are considered sinful by the Scriptures, but sometimes we must choose discretion to avoid causing harm at the expense of divulging the whole truth. I believe God has enough grace to forgive us the sin of our lips if in fact the intention of or heart is pleasing to Him.